its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
