How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
