dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
