i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
