the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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