Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
