I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize