Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
