his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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