Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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