People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
