things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Alive.
So much puke
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize