All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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