I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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