im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
