Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
