Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
