oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
