On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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