A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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