So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
