Apparently you make a good broom.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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