Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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