I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
