when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
