you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
