I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
