Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
