So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
