why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
