Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
