Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
