i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
