I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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