she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
