I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
