omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
