remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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