I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
