Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
