She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
