The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
