why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my sisters under your porch take her home
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize