he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
this hospital has no fireball
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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