yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
