also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
