look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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