got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
