Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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