Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
