I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My vagina just clenched in fear
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
