Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize