is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
