He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize