I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
