Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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