I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
