Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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