I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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