I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
