The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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