I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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