Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
