Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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