my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
