I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
