Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your cock deserves a montage
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
