Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
splinters make it hard to masturbate
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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