Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
