so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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