I'm jealous of your bromance
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
