well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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