Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize