she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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