No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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