Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
