Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
