Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We got so high we made milksteak
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
