you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
