i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize